Two years ago today at 12:31 pm, my baby girl was born. I still remember vividly the events of that day. I remember waking up that morning, at like 4:30 am, shaking uncontrollably. I remember waking Caleb up and telling him something was wrong and that we needed to go to the hospital. I didn't know for sure something was wrong, I just felt different. I remember getting into the car and on the way into town I thought to myself that my baby girl was dead. I never said anything to Caleb because I wanted so badly to be wrong. We got to the hospital and they hooked everything up. They looked and looked for the heartbeat. They brought in the little ultrasound machine and looked and they saw that her heart was no longer beating. That crushed me. The pain that I felt all of a sudden was so intense I couldn't hardly think. I remember having to call my mom and tell her that my baby girl was dead. I remember the doctors putting all kinds of things into me to make the birthing process as quick and painless as possible. I remember looking at Caleb and seeing the pain in his eyes. It hurt us so bad. I remember everythind. I remember giving birth to her and the doctor so kindly placing her in my arms. I remmeber looking at how incredibly beautiful she was. I remember thinking "maybe she will start breathing". I remember hoping and pleading with God to change what just happened. There were so many people in and out. I remember wanting them all to go away but thankful they were there at the same time. I remember telling the nurse that I didn't want people in the room that I just wanted to be alone and if I wanted someone I would send for them. I remember Caleb going in and out. More out than in. I remember him coming in and telling me about this man named Ken. That he was the preacher at Southside and that he had no idea who we were but he came for us anyway. I thought that was weird. (I remember seeing him a few days later at Walmart and reaffirming my thought of how weird that was....little did I know this man would become like a father to me. I am so grateful for him and I truly think of him as not only a really great friend but as a father.) I remember going that night at about midnight with Caleb to the nursery and saying good bye to my baby girl and allowing them to take her to the morgue. I remember telling Caleb that was the last time that I wanted to see her, and I stuck to that. I remember how gently the nurses were with us. I remember it all. I miss her terribly, but I have the hope that she is in a much safer and better place, and Lord willing, I will be with her again someday.