I was thinking this morning while making beds about what the last 6 years of my life has brought my husband and I. So I did a quick recap in my head and it brought some interesting things to light. Thought I might share them with you....
Year 1: Happy newlyweds, soon to find out we are pregnant with our first child. Like any couple we were excited about the future. I quit my job and assumed position of homemaker (which I am so blessed to be able to do) and prepared for our bundle. That same year brought deep grief to my husband and I. For two days I had been having contractions, I was full term so I knew something was happening. It was nothing major but I could tell something was going on. But, let me insert here I was also a naive first time mom who had no idea what was going on. A Saturday evening we had some friends over and as we were sitting on the couch I felt extreme movement. I know now that was the moment I lost my baby girl. But still, I just thought oh wow, she is very active. I have played the "I wonder if I could go back in time and realize what was going on if anything would change" scenario over and over in my head....you know what I have come up with? Nothing. God allowed us to enjoy a full complete 9 months with Abigail in utero and then took her home. Thats it. The end. I am so incredibly thankful for the time I had with her. I was blessed. Incredibly blessed. So the next day, was very busy I didn't even stop to notice I hadn't felt movement because I was still having contractions. My body was doing what it was supposed to. Monday morning I woke up at 5...nauseous...chills...overall grief feeling. It was the motherly intuition that something was terribly wrong. I told Caleb we need to go to the hospital. I called my dad and told him we were headed. I told nobody that I knew my baby girl was gone. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed all the way to the hospital, up to the room through all the processing that I was wrong. They started searching for a heartbeat....they couldn't find it. I knew my fears were confirmed. My baby girl was gone. I called my mom. That was the hardest call ever. How do you tell your mom that their granddaughter whom they haven't met yet is dead? She called everyone else. Then came to me. Caleb never left my side for hours. We cried, we grieved, we prayed and thanked God for the time we had. I was swarmed with people. The next couple hours were a blur. I had a fantastic doctor and a marvelous midwife who took fantastic care of the rest. Abby was born a couole hours later. She was beautiful. Looked exactly like her brothers did. Only she was quiet. I hurt. Not physically. Just emotionally. The rest of the year caleb and I clung to each other.
Year 2: we discovered we were pregnant again. Ready or not a son was coming soon. That year also brought a division between Calebs parents and us. It was ugly, hurtful, and hard. Jeremy moved out of his parents house and into ours. We met new friends. Started working with a new congregation. Donovan was born...healthy and happy.
Year 3: we moved into full time parenthood well. Caleb and I both stepped into our roles pretty easily. I loved being a mom and caleb brought home the bacon. But this year brought a new challenge. Caleb quit his job of 7 years and took a huge cut in pay to take on a full time butcher position. We learned to live on less. But you know what? We LOVED IT! Of course its nice to have money, but to be able to live on next to nothing brings so much of a closer bond between husband and wife....IF you are willing to give up your expensive lifestyle and depend on God to meet your needs. It was great. Still is actually.
Year 4: we were pregnant again...we welcomed Brenden into our family 9 days befor Donovan turned 2. Have I mentioned I love being a mom? I love my role. I love my family. I love my cozy little house. The rest of the year was faily uneventful.
Year 5: most of the year nothing significant happened. Then caleb and I again took a leap of faith. He quit his job again, and took on another full-time butcher job in Lafayette. This was a great move. Not because we are making more money...its probably about the same after we pay for gas back and forth...but because he loves his job. Do you know what that means? It means he comes home happy. Tired...but happy. He gets up early to leave at 5 to work all day and come home to little boys who love to wrestle! Its great. We are depending now more than ever on God to meet our needs. We are blessed and more in love than we ever have been.
Year 6: we are pregnant again...yep its true. Entering in this time is baby Hank. I am currently cuddling with said baby. Great times. Year 6 brought love and happiness. I cannot wait to see what year 7 brings!
As I finished going through the recaps of the years in my head I realized just truly how blessed I am. I have a husband who is the head of the household, provides for our family, loves me unconditionally, and makes it a joy to be submissive to. I have a man who I can spend the rest of my life with and always have someone to rely on. I have a man who takes control, meets situations head on, and hardly ever misses a beat. Sure he comes home exhausted...especially after working his taxidermy job in the evenings, but he still makes time for the kids and I. Have I mentioned how blessed I am? We have gone through a lot in 6 years. Starting our marriage with losing our firstborn child greatly increased our strength and resolve to grow together. Where lots of couples would not be able to handle it, Caleb and I came together stronger and more resilient. I am so happy to have the man that I do. I couldn't ask for anyone better.
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