Monday, February 27, 2012
A day like today.
Its a "Soul-searching" kind of day. Praying God will open my heart and show me my faults and failures so I can fix them and grow closer to Him. Really striving to do what I know is right and "practice what I preach". Thanking God that His mercies are new every morning.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Am I the only normal person?
Do you ever feel like you are one of the few normal people in the world? It's days like today that I have so much to say, and yet don't know how to put it into words. I am feeling so many emotions: confusion, frustration, thankfulness, more confusion, maybe a little anxiety. All of this combines to make me, well, it makes me desire a closer walk with God.
There are so many things going on around my family that doesn't affect us, but does at the same time. I mean it affects us, but the decisions are not ours to make. It is decisions others have to make and we are left to deal with those decisions and move on from them. My confusion stems from my desire to do something, but have no idea what to do. I want to talk to several people about things, but honestly, I think they would just get upset or they would cower and say there is no issue. Which then leads into my frustration because I am tired of hearing things. If you have a problem with someone, go to them. Deal with the situation. Its one thing to go to someone else for advice, its another to go to someone else just to vent or stir up strife or guilt and then never deal with the situation. My frustration leads into my thankfulness even more for a wonderful loving husband who is not only just my husband, he is also my friend. We can talk about everything and discuss things. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a man in my life that wants to lead my family in such a Godly way. He strives to do whats best for us and he also puts up with my ramblings and talking all the time! After all those emotions, I deal with anxiety. Let me rephrase-I try not to let anxiety take hold. I am a do-er. I see things that need to get done or fixed and I want to do it right now. In situations like these where I have to sit back and wait for things to happen I tend to get a little impatient. So...how do I fix these emotions? I go to God. I cast all my cares on Him. I pray without ceasing. I read and study His Word. I depend upon Him. In the end, that's all I can do. If I am striving to live my life right and properly, other things are not important. What's it matter that I have a better relationship with some than others? That's a natural thing. Some people get along better with certain people. Perhaps it is merely the fact that both sides put out effort to have that friendship. I value my friendships and try to make them stronger. I try to put others before myself. I try to have the mentality that I would drop what I am doing to help a friend. More importantly, I REALLY try to follow through with what I say I will do. I give effort to things. I know sometimes circumstances come up, especially when small children are involved, but really people, give effort into making friends. The world does not revolve around just you.
Well, thats enough of that! On to other things...I am going to start "teaching" Donovan in a sort of preschool. I am not really going gung-ho on it though because he is not even 3 yet. But he has the desire to learn and wants to do things, so I am going to teach him! I have a preschool book or worksheets and crafts to do with him as well as a list of everyday things that I do that I can use as a learning experience for him. What do I want the goal of this to be? Well, I want to focus in more on his attention span. I want to challenge him to focus on things for a little longer than he is. I want him to learn matching, and colors, shapes and more numbers. Right now he knows all his letters, their sounds, can count to 14 and knows his basic shapes. I want to harness in on this knowledge and expand on it. I love seeing how much he enjoys learning and doing new things! I also want to work on his vocabulary. Teaching him new words, helping him enunciate. I think he talks exceptionally well for 2. I can carry on conversations with him, he talks most of the time in small full sentences, usually volunteers please, thank you and sorry on his own. Its such a joy to be his mother and I want to continue helping him grow and develop!
As I go off to do more laundry, make the beds, play with my kids, remember who we are here to serve. Do your best to serve God no matter how big or small the tasks!
There are so many things going on around my family that doesn't affect us, but does at the same time. I mean it affects us, but the decisions are not ours to make. It is decisions others have to make and we are left to deal with those decisions and move on from them. My confusion stems from my desire to do something, but have no idea what to do. I want to talk to several people about things, but honestly, I think they would just get upset or they would cower and say there is no issue. Which then leads into my frustration because I am tired of hearing things. If you have a problem with someone, go to them. Deal with the situation. Its one thing to go to someone else for advice, its another to go to someone else just to vent or stir up strife or guilt and then never deal with the situation. My frustration leads into my thankfulness even more for a wonderful loving husband who is not only just my husband, he is also my friend. We can talk about everything and discuss things. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a man in my life that wants to lead my family in such a Godly way. He strives to do whats best for us and he also puts up with my ramblings and talking all the time! After all those emotions, I deal with anxiety. Let me rephrase-I try not to let anxiety take hold. I am a do-er. I see things that need to get done or fixed and I want to do it right now. In situations like these where I have to sit back and wait for things to happen I tend to get a little impatient. So...how do I fix these emotions? I go to God. I cast all my cares on Him. I pray without ceasing. I read and study His Word. I depend upon Him. In the end, that's all I can do. If I am striving to live my life right and properly, other things are not important. What's it matter that I have a better relationship with some than others? That's a natural thing. Some people get along better with certain people. Perhaps it is merely the fact that both sides put out effort to have that friendship. I value my friendships and try to make them stronger. I try to put others before myself. I try to have the mentality that I would drop what I am doing to help a friend. More importantly, I REALLY try to follow through with what I say I will do. I give effort to things. I know sometimes circumstances come up, especially when small children are involved, but really people, give effort into making friends. The world does not revolve around just you.
Well, thats enough of that! On to other things...I am going to start "teaching" Donovan in a sort of preschool. I am not really going gung-ho on it though because he is not even 3 yet. But he has the desire to learn and wants to do things, so I am going to teach him! I have a preschool book or worksheets and crafts to do with him as well as a list of everyday things that I do that I can use as a learning experience for him. What do I want the goal of this to be? Well, I want to focus in more on his attention span. I want to challenge him to focus on things for a little longer than he is. I want him to learn matching, and colors, shapes and more numbers. Right now he knows all his letters, their sounds, can count to 14 and knows his basic shapes. I want to harness in on this knowledge and expand on it. I love seeing how much he enjoys learning and doing new things! I also want to work on his vocabulary. Teaching him new words, helping him enunciate. I think he talks exceptionally well for 2. I can carry on conversations with him, he talks most of the time in small full sentences, usually volunteers please, thank you and sorry on his own. Its such a joy to be his mother and I want to continue helping him grow and develop!
As I go off to do more laundry, make the beds, play with my kids, remember who we are here to serve. Do your best to serve God no matter how big or small the tasks!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Early morning ramblings...
I have this strangely odd desire to write a book. My hang-up is what to write about. I love to write about my thoughts and dreams. I am a really good dreamer, a semi-good follow througher, but thats about as far as it goes. This morning my kids woke up at 5 am. It wasn't the wake up and go back to sleep kind either. It was the I am awake for the day kind of awake, so after an hour of struggling to get them back to sleep, I decided to wake up and embrace the morning. There were 2 things I learned this morning. The smell of coffee certainly helps one to stay awake when every ounce of me is desiring to go back to bed, and I really enjoy the sun in the morning. I would love to be an early riser. I would love to get up a couple hours before the kids, read my Bible, have my coffee, perhaps even do some quiet household tasks, but alas, when it is dark, my mind says sleep. So perhaps, now for a couple weeks before daylight savings time kicks in again, I will be able to get up early.
You know those times in life when you are extremely reflective on the life situations of other people but hardly look at your own? I know you know what I am talking about. It could even be in a sermon...the preacher is up their talking and you feel like he is just holding a BIG sign saying "this is for so and so". Well, upon realizing I was doing that, I looked at myself and saw how much I needed to work on! For instance, my resolve to read the Bible got lost somewhere between tearing up the kitchen floor and the overwhelming sense that my life was a whole lot more busier than it really was. So, in that light, yes, I need to read and study more. There are other things that I need to work on. Perhaps my new years resolutions will actually be Springtime resolutions this year. Or perhaps I could title it Spring cleaning for the soul. There we go...that's my book title! (Just kidding! I am so not qualified to write a book.)
As I meander around many thoughts in this blog, I have to confess, its not as much for all of you readers as it is for me. Somehow by writing, it challenges me to be accountable to myself. It also allows me to get my thoughts out of my head to make room for other more important things.
Finally, today I will fold 5 loads of laundry, make 2 beds, clean up countless amounts of toys, chase Donovan yelling "to infinity and beyond" most of the time he is awake, change diapers, take d potty, make dinner and crash this evening, but I resolve to do it all with a joyful attitude regardless of the lack of sleep I got last night!
You know those times in life when you are extremely reflective on the life situations of other people but hardly look at your own? I know you know what I am talking about. It could even be in a sermon...the preacher is up their talking and you feel like he is just holding a BIG sign saying "this is for so and so". Well, upon realizing I was doing that, I looked at myself and saw how much I needed to work on! For instance, my resolve to read the Bible got lost somewhere between tearing up the kitchen floor and the overwhelming sense that my life was a whole lot more busier than it really was. So, in that light, yes, I need to read and study more. There are other things that I need to work on. Perhaps my new years resolutions will actually be Springtime resolutions this year. Or perhaps I could title it Spring cleaning for the soul. There we go...that's my book title! (Just kidding! I am so not qualified to write a book.)
As I meander around many thoughts in this blog, I have to confess, its not as much for all of you readers as it is for me. Somehow by writing, it challenges me to be accountable to myself. It also allows me to get my thoughts out of my head to make room for other more important things.
Finally, today I will fold 5 loads of laundry, make 2 beds, clean up countless amounts of toys, chase Donovan yelling "to infinity and beyond" most of the time he is awake, change diapers, take d potty, make dinner and crash this evening, but I resolve to do it all with a joyful attitude regardless of the lack of sleep I got last night!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Bad habits mixed with positive reinforcement...
You know, I was thinking today about how much soda I drink. Combine that though with the amount of water DON'T drink, and it evens out to an issue. if you count the water that's in coffee, drink a lot, otherwise I don't drink any! So, how do I fix this problem? Well, I go and buy a new cool bottle that holds a bajillion ounces of water and tell myself that I cannot have a soda until I drink at least 2 bottle fulls of water? Think it will work? Well, it had better because I am sure my energy level will go up and lots of other positive things will happen as a result. Overall I will probably just feel healthier!
We went to the store today with my mom, it was a good time. Again, I lost my list somewhere before I got into the store so I ended up forgetting things or buying the wrong thing. Oh well, such is life. I think I may just start sticking a post-it note to my head or something! The boys are napping, I am supposed to be cleaning, but here I sit. Another thing I need to improve on: time management. I have enough lists laying around everywhere of things to do! I just need to do them.
As a side note: have I mentioned lately how incredibly in love I am with my family? I love us so much! My husband is a wonderful, handsome, gentle, best dad in the world, God-fearing, pants wearing head of our household kind of man. He protects, provides, and loves us much more than I could ever ask for, always doing whats best for his family regardless of what he has to give up. Donovan is a rambunctious, vivacious, lovely, wonderful, loving, fun to be around, Buzz Lightyear loving, dirt playing, bug touching little boy! Brenden, well, at 8 months old, he rolls everywhere he needs to be, screams bloody murder if he can't see me, laughs so deep from the belly it makes everyone in our house laugh, eats like a small elephant, wonderful, adorable, loving, cuddly little boy. God has truly blessed my family, and I am so incredibly thankful!
Soon I will be receiving the preschool curriculum I ordered for Donovan. Actually, I only ordered the teacher's guide because I have most of the books that go along with it! I will let you know what I think of it after I see it and use it for a while. I love teaching, and am thankful that I am going to get the opportunity to homeschool our children!
I suppose I should get to work now! Enjoy your Wednesday everyone.
We went to the store today with my mom, it was a good time. Again, I lost my list somewhere before I got into the store so I ended up forgetting things or buying the wrong thing. Oh well, such is life. I think I may just start sticking a post-it note to my head or something! The boys are napping, I am supposed to be cleaning, but here I sit. Another thing I need to improve on: time management. I have enough lists laying around everywhere of things to do! I just need to do them.
As a side note: have I mentioned lately how incredibly in love I am with my family? I love us so much! My husband is a wonderful, handsome, gentle, best dad in the world, God-fearing, pants wearing head of our household kind of man. He protects, provides, and loves us much more than I could ever ask for, always doing whats best for his family regardless of what he has to give up. Donovan is a rambunctious, vivacious, lovely, wonderful, loving, fun to be around, Buzz Lightyear loving, dirt playing, bug touching little boy! Brenden, well, at 8 months old, he rolls everywhere he needs to be, screams bloody murder if he can't see me, laughs so deep from the belly it makes everyone in our house laugh, eats like a small elephant, wonderful, adorable, loving, cuddly little boy. God has truly blessed my family, and I am so incredibly thankful!
Soon I will be receiving the preschool curriculum I ordered for Donovan. Actually, I only ordered the teacher's guide because I have most of the books that go along with it! I will let you know what I think of it after I see it and use it for a while. I love teaching, and am thankful that I am going to get the opportunity to homeschool our children!
I suppose I should get to work now! Enjoy your Wednesday everyone.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
New directions...
How much has happened in 8 months? TONS! My youngest, Brenden is 8 months old today. Time flies. Donovan is 2 and a half. He is so much fun! Right now he is watching Toy Story while I blog. Brenden is rolling around on the floor chasing a rattle. Caleb is still working at Miller's. I am still blessed to be a stay at home mom. Its the best thing a person could ever ask for. I don't understand why women want to go into the workforce. Even before they have kids. It is such a blessing to be able to stay home, keep the house, make meals, do laundry, clean, all of the fun stuff that staying home allows you to do. One of the many directions I want to take this blog in this year is thankfulness. I have SO much to be thankful for in my life. I have an incredible husband, 3 beautiful children (even though one is no longer with us, she will always be counted as my child and she was absolutely gorgeous at birth), a wonderful house, food, clothes, and a God who loves me more than anything. How blessed am I?!
Another area where I want to take this blog is into the realm of parenting. I see so many parents floundering around in their roles. They are taking the "friend" approach rather than the "parent" approach. I want to be my child's mom, and then by being their mom become their friend. I want to hit highlights and lowlights of parenting, cover the funny things that happen, and also challenge other mothers to become all they can be for their kiddos.
And lastly, there is just a menagerie of small things I want to touch on, like what I am learning as I study the Bible, small things I come across on homeschooling, fun new recipe ideas, and other things like that. I have been talking with Caleb and I want to use some of my talents and things, but with the kids I am a little more limited in what I can do. I believe that this is one thing I can do just from my house and I hope to be a blessing to others out there who are trudging through life! Please comment and share tips and ideas, I would love to hear from you all.
Another area where I want to take this blog is into the realm of parenting. I see so many parents floundering around in their roles. They are taking the "friend" approach rather than the "parent" approach. I want to be my child's mom, and then by being their mom become their friend. I want to hit highlights and lowlights of parenting, cover the funny things that happen, and also challenge other mothers to become all they can be for their kiddos.
And lastly, there is just a menagerie of small things I want to touch on, like what I am learning as I study the Bible, small things I come across on homeschooling, fun new recipe ideas, and other things like that. I have been talking with Caleb and I want to use some of my talents and things, but with the kids I am a little more limited in what I can do. I believe that this is one thing I can do just from my house and I hope to be a blessing to others out there who are trudging through life! Please comment and share tips and ideas, I would love to hear from you all.
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